HomeDorims plans of the future
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Dorims plans of the future
dorim Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:34 am
*Dorim enters the ring and jumps up in the corner and start to talk to the fans.*
Dorim:
"So I have herd that an old buddy to is now in PCW, Hellboyben and I most say Hellboy is the wrestler i have a bit of a history with. Hellboy had a stable called Brutality and I was a part of the stable. So I was thinking what about starting up Brutality again?"
*Fans Cheers*
Dorim:
"But the real resone i´m out in this ring to night is to tell all of the guys in the back and most of all the rookies that if you want to get somewhere in this fed you have to prove your self to the fans of PCW."
*Fans chants PCW*
"Dorim leaves the ring and starts to walk up the ramp"[/b]
Dorim:
"So I have herd that an old buddy to is now in PCW, Hellboyben and I most say Hellboy is the wrestler i have a bit of a history with. Hellboy had a stable called Brutality and I was a part of the stable. So I was thinking what about starting up Brutality again?"
*Fans Cheers*
Dorim:
"But the real resone i´m out in this ring to night is to tell all of the guys in the back and most of all the rookies that if you want to get somewhere in this fed you have to prove your self to the fans of PCW."
*Fans chants PCW*
"Dorim leaves the ring and starts to walk up the ramp"[/b]
Last edited by dorim on Sun Apr 11, 2010 2:11 am; edited 3 times in total
dorim- Posts : 14
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 32
Location : Sweden
Re: Dorims plans of the future
SM HeartBreaker Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:54 am
nice start dorim, i personally like the RP
however the writing needs to be in bold writing,
also, the colours of each paragraph and action is perfect but you need to put "around speech" and *around actions*.
In addition, the name brutality is ok so long as it isn't used first in another fed, (however i don't know if this is actually a problem or not) but with a exception of a few spelling mistakes, its a great RP
however the writing needs to be in bold writing,
also, the colours of each paragraph and action is perfect but you need to put "around speech" and *around actions*.
In addition, the name brutality is ok so long as it isn't used first in another fed, (however i don't know if this is actually a problem or not) but with a exception of a few spelling mistakes, its a great RP
SM HeartBreaker- Posts : 59
Join date : 2010-04-04
Age : 30
dorim- Posts : 14
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 32
Location : Sweden
Re: Dorims plans of the future
HellBoyBen99 Sun Apr 11, 2010 6:35 am
*Fans cheer loudley as its all dark,Blue and white lights flicker on and off, Kiss Me by New Found Glory hits the arena as the fans get excited.Red,blue and yellow fireworks go of every 10 secons then Out steps Hellboyben99,He walks out on stage and stands their firmly,he is wearing face paint,the face paint has a black base with red sort of snake lines and green on the lip.He also has sliver and chaos black long deadlocked hair with a cowboy hat on,He is holding a beer bottle and wearing a black leather jacket with a red cape and a white wolf top underneth the jacket,also wearing leather trousers with hellboyben in greek and yellow down the sides.He has a kendo stick on his back,the kendo stick is red with a black handle,The man stands their in the centre of the stage doing a familiar taunt then walks to the ring.The man pulls out a microphone.*
Hellboyben99 :
"Dorim,I heard you were in this fed and thats was the only reason i also returned,so i could catch up with my Old Buddy and see how he was."
*Hellboyben99 claps as the fans have mixed reactions.*
Hellboyben99 :
"So how are you?.And If theirs a Spot on the stable, I think you and I can tag And we could be Unstoppable and take out EVERYBODY!!"
*Hellboyben99 Coughs as he Says Leo.*
Hellboyben99 :
'and You and I can not only have one of the most dominant Stable's in PCW but also the Best tag team ever,So Dorim,What do you say?"
*Hellboyben99 Waits for a answer.*
Hellboyben99 :
"Dorim,I heard you were in this fed and thats was the only reason i also returned,so i could catch up with my Old Buddy and see how he was."
*Hellboyben99 claps as the fans have mixed reactions.*
Hellboyben99 :
"So how are you?.And If theirs a Spot on the stable, I think you and I can tag And we could be Unstoppable and take out EVERYBODY!!"
*Hellboyben99 Coughs as he Says Leo.*
Hellboyben99 :
'and You and I can not only have one of the most dominant Stable's in PCW but also the Best tag team ever,So Dorim,What do you say?"
*Hellboyben99 Waits for a answer.*
HellBoyBen99- Posts : 37
Join date : 2010-04-09
Age : 30
Re: Dorims plans of the future
SM HeartBreaker Sun Apr 11, 2010 6:41 am
Yeah you edited it ok as i said,
hellboyben you need to put your in bold aswell plus its "speech marks" not 'quotation marks' and you did a couple of spelling mistakes (which is only human)
nevertheless, its a very good RP, i like the 'cough' leo lol
the cough btw needs to be in green and have *around it*
hellboyben you need to put your in bold aswell plus its "speech marks" not 'quotation marks' and you did a couple of spelling mistakes (which is only human)
nevertheless, its a very good RP, i like the 'cough' leo lol
the cough btw needs to be in green and have *around it*
SM HeartBreaker- Posts : 59
Join date : 2010-04-04
Age : 30
HellBoyBen99- Posts : 37
Join date : 2010-04-09
Age : 30
Re: Dorims plans of the future
dorim Mon Apr 12, 2010 10:53 am
Dorim:
"Sure HBB you and I as a tag is a great combination, and we have been a tag before so lets go for it."
*Fans cheers*
"Sure HBB you and I as a tag is a great combination, and we have been a tag before so lets go for it."
*Fans cheers*
dorim- Posts : 14
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 32
Location : Sweden
Re: Dorims plans of the future
HellBoyBen99 Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:28 pm
*hbb TAUNTs and and smiles with dorim*
HellBoyBen99- Posts : 37
Join date : 2010-04-09
Age : 30
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